Thursday, March 10, 2005

God Hates Full-Tilt

Today, thursday march 10th, will be recorded as the day that god fucked our shit up hard.

Today, we were supposed to play a show at a little place in indianapolis called dick's bar-b-q at 8:00 p.m.

Today is also the day that I have my public speaking class and I have to give a speech today. no big deal, I'm supposed to go first, do my little 6 minute shpiel, leave at 6:06, quick jaunt over to zack's apartment to pick him up. and we're on our way in plenty of time to make it to indianapolis by 8:00.

Well then I lock my keys in my van at 5:30. I spend the next 20 minutes on the phone with triple AAA trying to get the lady to understand me and get someone over to unlock the car. It'll take them somewhere between 15 minutes to an hour to get someone there to unlock it.


I go and give my speech, Call dale to see if he can get the spare set of keys from my house in scottsburg, Which is 30 mins. away from Ius. So at about 6:45, 40 mins. later than intended, I head over to zack's apartment to get him. We leave New Albany, which is 2 hours from indianapolis at 7:00 in order to be in Indy at 8:00. so you know what that means. Serious speeding time. If you see a maroon van with guitar amps doing 85 on the interstate there's only one thing to say. "Ph3@r d15 l337 v4"

Quick stop at my house to get the guitar amps. quick stop at the hospital for zack to get something from his mom. We finally get on the highway at scottsburg in earnest at around 7:30. scottsburg is an hour and a half away from indianapolis. We need to be there at 8:00. Yeah. I don't even have to say it. But I will anyway. "Ph3@r d15 l337 v4".

So we're finally on the interstate and seriously abusing the engine on this Van that already has 195,000 miles on it. When, to quote that crippled guy from that movie with the retard with the chocolates "God showed up".

Now Indiana's not a small state, I mean we're no north dakota or anything, but we've got a good 7 hours of strait driving from north to south and 3 hours east to west. now in all this semi-big state, where does it drop 2 inches of snow in an hour and a half?In columbus, In our way. In less than 2 miles I went from perfect visibility and doing 85 miles an hour to 35 miles an hour and constantly hitting the rumble stip becase I can't see the lanes.

At that point we yelled "NO MAS" and said "fuck it" and pulled over at the nearest exit to turn around and go home. So we call dick's to tell jason and mark (who had been waiting for us to show up for around 2 hours with no word) that we weren't coming and to just go ahead and start coming home. We go into this gas-station to get some drinks and use the bathroom. We're in there for no more than 3 minutes. When we go to leave guess what's not there.


And since Mark and Jason don't have a cell phone with them. We can't call them to tell them to stay put because we can make it after all.

Now, When we left that gas station. Mark was in Indy, an hour and 15 minutes from his
house. I was in Columbus, about 50 minutes from New albany where this whole shit pile got started. I did 85 all the way back. it took me maybe 50 minutes to get home after stopping in new albany and driving back to scottsburg.

When I get home, Guess who was already home? This is the phone conversation I had with mark

me: "hey dude. sorry about all the bullshit tonight"
MArk: "It's cool. I was just calingl to make sure you are alright"
me: "hey wait a minute. how the fuck are you home already"
Mark: "We just drove home. I don't know"
me: "You must have been flying in order to beat me home"
Total Ass: "No. I was doing 70 the whole time"
me: *slams head in fridge door repeatedly*

"fear this leet v4" indeed.



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